The Atheist Mama

So, my wife and I take our son to one of the local McDonald’s with the attached playroom, and no sooner had we started eating when one family of kids starts to climb on stacked high chairs and the window ledges, no less. Then they start grabbing food trays to take with them on the play equipment when one older boy grabs a younger one’s foot and pulls him down from the ladder he was climbing. The younger child starts crying, of course, and the bully who pulled him down has this really amused smile on his face. When another child in the family asks the bully why he hurt the other one, the bully says he didn’t do anything, and a very loud argument that includes the “f” word breaks out. And where was good ol’ mom? In the main restaurant, of course, doing who knows what.

The point of this rather pointless episode is simply to ask you this: When, if ever, do you step in to discipline or scold children that are not your own?

–Allen

Well, now I just feel plain bad. I knew that I was slacking on this blog, but I didn’t realize how long it had been since my last post until tonight. So I apologize for disappearing. :(

But, I do have good news. I mentioned a “big project” that I was working on several times in the past. Well, I’m proud to announce that The Atheist Mama is now officially self-employed and this is one thing that has been keeping me so busy. And now that that one is done, I’m working on a few more (but I can’t link you to those just yet…). Perpetual Progress is in the process of becoming an LLC, and getting trademarks. I’ve even put my youngest into part time daycare so that I can actually work without him in my lap. It has been an adjustment, but he’s loving it now, and I have to admit that I am too.

Anyway, I’ve been putting A LOT of effort into this, and haven’t even had time to look at this blog. Seriously, I haven’t even visited this blog more than about 3 times, because I knew I would just feel bad about not posting. Not to mention the fact that since the last time I blogged, I’ve taken two trips to VA, and am going on another trip out there for New Years Eve.

Thank you to the “guest bloggers” (who are no guests at all, but roommates) for keeping some life here. You guys rock.

I’m not leaving forever… I’m just lucky that I have time to sleep lately.
Hope you are all well! :-)

So, things have been pretty exciting in the atheist blog community, huh? Four sites that I know of (including this one) were hacked and brought down. All of my backups were wiped out too. I don’t know if I should be pissed or feel honored… But I do know one thing - hacking blogs and their hosts? How Christ-like!! Your savior would be proud, huh? Does it piss you off that we all get back online? Do you know that these acts are criminal (in the US)?

I want to thank all of you who are blogging here. Allen, Amanda, Jim, Star and MomSquared (I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten your name) - thank you all!! LMAO, and feel free to continue if you would like! Things have been so nuts here… This is the first time I’ve gotten to sit down today (7:57 pm) - no exaggeration!

So tonight is Halloween. I went out before the trick or treating began to pick up some beer, and I passed an Evangelical church that I usually drive by on my daily route. There was a big shelter-like thing built on the front lawn. It looked like it was going to be a nativity. I was thinking it was a bit early for that… But as I got closer I saw the huge sign attached to it:

Not a trick, but the best treat ever.

I also noticed that it was a manger - complete with Mary, Joe and the baby Jesus (I think it was a doll). They were handing out candy to passers by. I have no doubt that they were slipping tracts into the bags of candy as well. I know the picture sucks. My normal digital is having battery issues, so I have to depend on my cell. But it’s better than nothing! :-)

Happy Halloween!!

Since I’ve been designated the “Atheist Daddy,â€? I’d like to explore a parenting issue that isn’t discussed as much as it really should be: what to tell your kids about Santa Claus.

Is belief in Santa just innocent fun, or is there something harmful or even sinister about it?

At the risk of being branded something worse than an atheist–a dirty, stinkin’ grinch–I’d advise the godless fathers and mothers who celebrate Christmas to consider carefully before inviting jolly old St. Nick into their homes.

I think the most compelling indictment against the Santa tradition is that it involves lying to your children. Not exaggerating, not embellishing, but outright lying. And it’s not like you have to tell just one lie only one time, either; once you start lying, you find yourself telling more and more lies to counter doubts and questions. Then comes the day when your children finally figure out you’ve been deceiving them all along. They may shrug it off as innocent fun, but they may also see it as a huge betrayal of the trust they have in you.

But what concerns me almost as much as the blatant dishonesty about the Santa conspiracy is the way it fosters an uncritical acceptance of magic and miracles in very much the same way religion does. Skepticism is discouraged while faithfulness—believing without seeing—is the highest virtue.

And consider, too, how Santa himself has many attributes of a deity: he wields god–like omniscience to see us when we’re sleeping, to know when we’re awake, and if we’ve been bad or good; he controls space and time by visiting millions of houses in one night in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer; he rewards good (with presents) and punishes evil (with lumps of coal); and he answers “prayers� children send him in the form of letters. To encourage belief in such a fantasy undermines the ideals of reason and inquiry that atheist parents work so hard to instill.

This doesn’t mean, however, that Santa should be completely banned from Christmas. I think children can enjoy stories, music, television shows and movies about Santa while understanding he is just make-believe. They do need to know, of course, that other families take Santa much more seriously, and that’s all right for them. This way, you can preserve the integrity of your relationship with your children, promote the values of reason and honesty, and still have a merry Christmas.

–Allen

Seeing Stardust’s post of the Atheist “Prayer” prompted me to write this post. I wrote about the “Little Books” in a comment once on a post by The Freethought Mom (who has since disappeared…).

When our boys are ready for bed, we go into the bedroom and “do little books.” The “little books” is a collection of about 12 or 14 very small (maybe 2×2?) books all contained in a little box that’s made to look like a bed. All of the stories are short bedtime stories or songs. I got these as a gift while pregnant with my oldest. We started this probably about 2 years ago and we still do it. Even my 17 month old asks for the “little books” when we go into the bedroom.

They each get to pick one, and we read 3 or 4 of them. My oldest has them all memorized now. As soon as we’re done with the books, they get put away and they get into bed. My husband takes one boy and I take the other and we lay with them and talk about what they are going to dream about. Then my husband and I switch (they are in the same room) and we usually continue the dream talk (my oldest dreams about a lot!).
Then we say good night!

I wrote this several months ago. The 17 month old that I was speaking about will be 2 years old on the 7th. But we still “do little books” every night. I consider some of these books a great substitue for that evening prayer that so many children say. If and when we are faced with the question about why they don’t pray before bed (which I expect to hear from one of their friends some day in the future), they can say that while they don’t actually pray, they do have some stories that help them have good thoughts through the night. You can see the pictures of these books here (on Amazon).

Here are a few of those stories:

Good Night

Good night.
Good night.
Sleep tight…
Wake up bright,
In the morning light,
To do what’s right -
With all your might.

Come to the Window

Come to the window, my baby with me,
and look at the stars that shine on the sea!
There are two little stars that play at bo-peep,
with two little fishes far down in the deep.
And two little frogs cry, “Neap, neap, neap.”
I see a dear baby, who should be asleep.

And my favorite:

Sleep, Baby, Sleep

Sleep, baby, sleep,
Thy father guards the sheep.
Thy mother shakes the dreamland tree,
and from it fall sweet dreams for thee,
Sleep, baby, sleep.

Sleep, baby, sleep,
Down where the woodbines creep.
Be always like the lamb so mild,
A kind, and sweet, and gentle child.
Sleep, baby, sleep.

I encourage you to share these little stories with your children!! I think they are beautiful, and they have been a part of our bedtime routine for so long… They are sure to be precious memories some day.

Hey all! I want to thank all of you for your comments and emails showing your concern for me. I truely appreciate it.

Where have I been? Well, I’ve been traveling a lot lately. I actually just got back from Northern Virginia a few days ago, and I’ll be going back in a week. I’ll also be taking a trip up to Vermont while I’m out in Virginia. All of this with my 2 little boys. My husband has to stay here and work, so it’s been interesting. But I’m getting to see a lot of my family, and I’m doing a lot of re-connecting with some really old, really great friends. We’re having a blast!! But when September comes, life will settle back down.

I have a little to blog about in the next week or so, but then I’ll be slowing back down… But don’t stop coming by and keep my on your blogroll!! :-) Also, you can look for some of my posts on God is for Suckers too. I’ve been lucky enough to join forces with the brilliant minds of GifS.

Stay tuned…

My mother came to visit for a few days, so I was away from the computer for a bit. Nice break from the internet, the television, cooking (we eat out a lot when family are in town) some help with the kids…
But we’re back to reality today.
I finally managed to get a copy of The End of Faith by Sam Harris. I hear nothing but great things about this book. Just a few dozen pages in, and I can tell that it’s great. My mother started to read it while she was here (when I wasn’t reading it) and wanted to take it with her. So I had to go and pick up another copy today.

We’re planning a trip to Hawaii. My husband has family living there so we’ll be crashing at their place and we’ll be without children. Can not wait. So if you know of anything that is must see/do, let me know. :-)

Blah. That’s all I got, folks. It’ll probably be slow around here for a few days.
Stay happy!

Last night, my husband, the kids, and I went to the local Humanist group’s Saturday night dinner function. Every third Saturday, they meet up at a restaurant for some socializing. We were the only one with kids. LOL! We brought some life into that group!

In one of the posts at GifS, there was some discussion about the average age of the members of atheist and humanist groups. It seems that most members are older in age (40+). Now, I’m not saying that over 40 is old, but it’s older than we (my husband and I) are.

The group last night was no exception, but it’s always a good time! I enjoy the conversation of older folk because there is a lot of wisdom and experience behind what is being said. But why is it that the younger generations aren’t attending meeting and taking part of groups like these? Are there more atheists among the older crowd? Are the younger adults too busy with kids and the responsibilities that come with having young children?

What can be done to increase the intrest of younger adults in such groups? One of the members of our local group suggested that atheist families are more drawn to groups like UU because of the community that it provides (our local chapter also provided child care during services). I’m not interested in such churches because of a few reasons. It’s called a church - It kind of goes against what I believe. The idea of attending a “service” is kind of silly to me, as an athiest. But I can understand the desire for communtiy.

The boys had a great time last night, but toward the end, they were getting a little stir crazy. It would be nice to see other familys attending such functions. I would love to continue to bring my children (as long as it’s appropriate, of course) and I would like to see other children for them to relate to in the future.

Since the attack on the shrine in Iraq that we heard about yesterday, I’ve been getting pretty nervous. I read this article this morning and now I’m down right terrified. That’s just one of the scary articles out there this morning.

I’ve written about my father before. He called me yesterday. I’m so worried…. I don’t know what to do. I wish there was something that I could do. I feel very helpless. It’s like watching a child cross the street and you see a car coming, but your stuck on something and you just can’t break free. It’s a terrible feeling.

The Freethought Mom posted a great story about their bedtime rituals. It’s a great, uplifting read.

My father left for Iraq yesterday (Jan 21) morning. He has been retired from the military for about 10 years now.
He’ll be there for 6 months. It’s really strange. He’s 49. He’s had (and beaten) throat cancer. He’s a very intelligent guy. I just can’t believe that they are sending him to Iraq.

Here’s a picture of my father and my son from Dec. 24, 2005.

My brother spent a year in Iraq. He came home about 4 months ago. He was actually in combat. We’re hoping that he doesn’t go back, but there’s a chance that he will. He’s newly married (he and his wife actually got married when he was home from Iraq on leave).

Here’s a picture of my brother (he’s 24), his wife and my boys from Dec. 24, 2005.

Anyway, just sharing. It was easier on me for my brother to be in Iraq than my father. I mean, my brother is young and healthy and gung ho. My father, well, it’s not that he’s old. He’s in great shape and in great health (now, after the cancer) but he’s almost 50! 50 year olds don’t belong in war. Not that I think that anyone does, but there’s a difference between a 50 year old and a 23 year old, know what I mean?

Tags:
war, Iraq, Military, Politics, Bush

For anyone who’s interested…

24 hour EEG Results

So there’s good (great) news and then there’s news that’s not bad, but not so great either.
The good news -
We didn’t have to stay the full 24 hours and got to come home at around 6:30 last night.
The staring spells that Jesse is having don’t seem to be epileptic.

The not so good news -
The staring spells aren’t epileptic, which means that it’s behaviorial or neurological.
We don’t know if the medication he is taking actually reduced the staring spells or if it’s a coincidence that the spells decreased when he started taking it.

If they’re behaviorial or neurological, I guess that would mean that they’re some sort of tic.

I’ll be calling the Dr. on Friday. She’s going to go over Jesse’s case with some behaviorial specialists. Apparently, this medication (Trileptal) is sometimes used for behaviorial issues with good results (along with Depakote). So now we decide if we keep him on it for a little longer or start trying to wean him and see what happens.

VERY hard decision. He’s really made some major improvements and I’d hate to screw that up, but keeping him on medication when he’s not having seizures?

So we honestly don’t know what to do now, and the doctors don’t seem all that sure either.

So that’s it… we just keep on truckin’ I guess.