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The Body and Blood of Christ
I was in the back room of a church while at a Catholic wedding when I took this picture. I was shocked when I saw that the Body of Christ came in packaging just like saltines would. When I was younger and in Catholic school, I always saw the host come out of a very ornate gold and silver safe looking thing (the name of this storage device escapes me).
They probably have boxes of The Body of Christ somewhere. Have you ever eaten one of these? They’re pretty tasty… I could totally sit down with some Blood of Christ and snack on some Body of Christ while watching TV.
on February 19th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Ahh, this brings back memories from my altar boy days…
I do remember the hosts coming in packages similar to the one in your photograph. A friend of mine, a fellow altar boy, used to eat them by the handful when no one was looking. This was before they were blessed, of course. According to the Church, until they are blessed, they are just ordinary wafers and wine. I took my job way too seriously to do anything like that, though, blessed or not.
I really don’t think they are very tasty, Cassandra, but if you’ve got a hankerin’ for the flesh and blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, you just dig right in, girl.
I’m going to stick to Doritos.
on February 21st, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Allen! That’s too funny! I can’t imagine the alter boys I knew snacking on the wafers, but then again, who knows… I wonder if the priests do it?
Yeah, Doritos would do the job too… Besides, I don’t think that Body of Christ would taste good with sour cream.
on February 21st, 2007 at 6:56 pm
If the worst thing priests did was to pop a few wafers, that would be just fine with me. It’s when they want to move on to sample the altar boys that I get a little nervous, you know what I mean?
And just how did you end up in the back room during the wedding? Were you actually in the ceremony? Was anyone there aware of your atheism?
on February 21st, 2007 at 10:30 pm
As an unmolested altar boy, I can testify to the fact that altar boys, sancretstants sp?) and even the priests are known to get hammered on teh blood of christ while partaking of some his bodily crackers.
on February 22nd, 2007 at 2:45 am
Ah well, you see it is not the body of christ till god’s molester here on earth waves his hands over it and says some funny words. It’s magic you see, kinda like Penn & Teller in drag. But without the swearing.
on February 22nd, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Nothing like commercially packaging the goods to perform cannibalistic rituals.
on February 23rd, 2007 at 10:44 am
At that point it’s not the body and blood of Christ. You have to have faith for that to happen.
on February 23rd, 2007 at 2:30 pm
I read somewhere that the “priest in charge” had to dispose of the remaining “blood” (read wine) after services, and since it had been blessed it had to be consumed. I guess they get a long nap sunday afternoon!
on April 26th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
A friend of mine and I were walking through a church supply shop once, and he picked up a large back of the wafer packets. Grinning, he looked at me and said, with a completely straight delivery, “I can’t believe it’s not Jesus!”
It still cracks me up to this day.
on March 28th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
The gold thing is a monstrance, just fyi. (I used to altar serve, before I deconverted from the RCC.)
on July 3rd, 2008 at 12:54 am
I’m a long time ex catholic and long time atheist. It took years to completely overcome the fear of hell printed into my mind as a child and to disabuse myself of the catholic dogma I had learned. Now I still see the priests asserting their authority over people on the basis of a non existent agency given to them by an imaginary being. Why do people let them get away with it? Here in Australia we are about to be accosted by World Youth Day which is basically a catholic propaganda exercise aimed at young people. Our governments have played along and even closed down a substantial part of Sydney and sneaked in legal regulations (which didn’t pass through the normal parliamentary process) and which have heavy penalties for ‘obstructing or annoying’ a pilgrim. I had heard of a lot of crazy religious behavior in America but I didn’t think we would go so far down the same rotten road.