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Valentine’s Day
This morning when I dropped my son off at school, his teacher pulled me aside to talk to me (he’s in pre-school, by the way). She said, “I know that you guys don’t do holidays but we’ll be giving out valentines, or ‘friendship’ cards tomorrow. Is that ok with you? We can provide the cards for Jesse so that you don’t have to purchase them.”
Of couse it’s ok with me, and I’ll purchase the 16 valentines myself!! I told her that we aren’t bothered by holidays like Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day. She then informed me that they were days based on Catholic saints. I told her that I was very aware of the history of the days but that they are really just hallmark holidays in my opinion.
Is this hypocritical of me? Contrary to popular belief, I’m not intolerant. I mean, no - we don’t celebrate Christmas. But I don’t plan on shielding my children from any of these holidays. That’s not living in reality. While we may not celebrate them all in our home, I certainly won’t keep him from giving and receiving little cards from his friends or stop him from wearing green so he won’t be pinched. I think that’s a bit extreme. I do plan on telling my children what the day is all about and why it is celebrated at all (something that I didn’t learn until I was an adult, despite attending Catholic school).
Anyway, anyone have thoughts on the subject?
After I pick my son up today, we’ll be going to the store to buy little cards to tell his friends and teachers how much they are appreciated.
on February 13th, 2006 at 12:01 pm
When christians question why I still like certain holidays, I tell them I like the traditional pagan aspects of these holidays just like christians do. The “Hallmark holiday” parts, as you said.
I even told my sister, who is a devout christian that I like the pagan traditions of christmas, which christians include too to the point where it overshadows their beliefs. If anything is hypocritical, THAT is!
Cupids, hearts, arrows, bunnies, leprechans, Santa Claus, flying reindeer, jack-o-lanterns, decorated trees are all fun pagan traditions and myths that are embraced by christians and non-christians alike.
on February 13th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
As a practicing Pagan, I think “they were days based on Catholic saints” is hilarious. Of course I know that most Christian traditions were usurped from older pagan ones. It’s funny that she equates “holiday” with all things Christian (or perhaps just Abrahamic), IMO.
I get the “hypocrite” thing, because I celebrate Christmas but don’t worship Christ. But it has a different meaning for me so I don’t find it hypocritical. Just like Feb.14 means nothing more to me than a box of chocolates from DH and little candy hearts for my girls.
Anyway, I hope your son has a good time.
on February 13th, 2006 at 1:19 pm
GIVE ME A F*CKING BREAK! How could anyone think that V-day is a Christian holiday?? Not to be cynical, but was she secretly being snide, or just way WAY too PC?
As usual, I feel you are swimming out in these cold waters ahead of me (I’m still mostly in the closet). Thanks for the heads up. I appreciate the comments above, too, Debbie & Gratis.
on February 13th, 2006 at 6:48 pm
I celebrate Christmas and Easter, not because of Jesus, but because I value tradition, family, fun, and giving. The holidays are so secular now, that if our kids lived in a secular bubble, they’d never even know there was any religiosity attached to it.
Here’s something to consider: Do we want our children to hate that their parents are atheist or agnostic? Do we want them running to religion as soon as they can because they missed out on all those fun holidays they had to watch their friends enjoy?
on February 13th, 2006 at 9:19 pm
Thanks for your comments ladies!! I knew that I was doing the right thing…
As far as the teacher goes, freethoughtmom - it’s hard to tell. I know that she really likes me, and they all love my son. But at the same time, I’m sure that she’s Christian (I’m almost positive anyway, considering past conversations) but she seems to be accepting of me. I do know that the school is forcing them to be totally PC (they aren’t allowed to call it V Day tomorrow) and I think they [teachers] kind of resent that. I think that they might blame type of rule on people like me (or us).
I did pull them aside when I went to pick my son up and told that them while we are atheists, I don’t plan on keeping my children in a cave. I told her that it actually does take a lot to offend me but that I really appreciated her coming to me first.
We went out and got Shrek valentines and some Dove chocolate hearts for the teachers. My son had fun signing every single card. Too cute!!
on February 13th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
Noell said: Do we want our children to hate that their parents are atheist or agnostic? Do we want them running to religion as soon as they can because they missed out on all those fun holidays they had to watch their friends enjoy?
Good points. I certainly hope that my children don’t resent me for the decisions that I’m making now. I can only hope for the best. Hopefully they’ll respect me for the parent that I tried to be.
Parenting is so hard. And potty training… Wow. Now THAT is a job!!!
on February 14th, 2006 at 1:25 am
I wont celebrate VD day this year for i am single but i will celebrate st patrick’s day its the one day i can where my Irish American kilt with pride and not get harassed by xtians okay not harassed as bad
on February 14th, 2006 at 1:14 pm
I think it’s excellent that the kids are learning the origins of some of these oddball holidays. I’m a believer in building smart kids who will one day decide for themselves what they believe.
Good to know another recovering Catholic out there. One of my favorite pastimes is to debunk these untouchable Catholic traditions for my kids. My son loves history and is fascinated by the real story. If I can do it in front of my ultra conservative Catholic ex-father-in-law, even more fun. :-)